he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
