You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
