i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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