Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
