he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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