So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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