I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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