3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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