the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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