we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
