So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
