What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
