Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
