WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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