I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
