I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize