YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
