either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
