did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
