i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
