whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.