He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
