i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
