So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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