paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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