this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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