just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
