I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
