I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
oh god the rape fog is back!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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