you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
