is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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