everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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