OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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