Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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