i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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