You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
be right there i have to get my cape
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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