Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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