My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
