While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
