Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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