My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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