There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just want to make out with him forever
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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