I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize