Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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