Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I skipped work to stalk him.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
