I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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