people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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