we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
