just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize