Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
