Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
