there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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