Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Randomize
Follow @tfln