you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind