3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
