You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
