And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
What a dumb baby whore.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
