In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
