You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
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She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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