so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
