I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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