My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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