Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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